The Gonzalez Family Herald

Headlines and commentary from a Northern California family of seven.

Friday, May 26, 2006

WOW! That's All. WOW!

So my oldest daughter (you know, the one who runs the blog Sarah Said?) had her swimming team time trials tonight. This is the first timed swim of the year and is used to determine what competitive groups a swimmer will be put in throughout the season. Well, I gotta tell you, I was floored by how much she impoved from last year. Take a look...

Freestyle 2005: 34.48 Seconds
Freestyle 2006: 25.51 Seconds

Breast 2005: 48.71 Seconds
Breast 2006: 37.27 Seconds

Butterfly 2005: 1:00.51 Seconds
Butterfly 2006: 37.24 Seconds

Backstroke 2005: 35.84 Seconds
Backstroke 2006: 32.12 Seconds

Look at that. Tell me that is not a major improvement over last year. In fact, to add to the WOW factor, my daughter finished first in two of the four heats she swam in. First! Man, I really can't think of any other words outside of WOW!

Sarah isn't the only wower in the house
My second daughter has taken to drawing recently. It stemmed from her fascination with horses and her desire to run a horse farm. Well, she used her own money to buy a horse drawing book from a bookstore. And she started drawing. And now she can draw almost anything. I will scan some pictures that she has done and post them as soon as I can. They are imressive.

My third daughter has taken to reading a writing like a fish to water. I think that I have posted about her ability to read before. But she is getting crazy with it. And now she has taken to writing. A couple of weeks ago she wrote a short story (complete with illustrations) titles 'Detective Anna'. And I gotta tell you, it was very good. As soon as I find all the pages to the story I will try to get it up here. It is amazing.

Anyway, it has been a long day and I've not much more to say so I am going to get on my way.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

What is Dr. Scholl's doing?

Wife: "What woman is going to wear that short white skirt and high heels to play tennis?"
Me: (Pointing to the scantilly clad blonde on TV) "That woman of course."
Wife: "You are such a guy. I need something to throw at you."
Me: "Where is that stuffed animal?"
Wife: "Where did I put that shoe?"

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Peanut Butter and Pickle Pizza

... And a side order of Pepto Bismol.
My oldest daughter has taken to eating peanut butter and pickle sandwiches. No, she is not pregnant or suffering from some mental defficiency. She just likes them. Wierd...

I, too, enjoy a few wierd foods every now and again, but nothing as silly as my daughters creation. For example, I really like to eat rice and eggs. MMmm, hot white rice, or spanish rice, with eggs sunnyside up draped over it. Smash it all together into a nice shade of hello and white and scarf it down like a ravenous animal.

Or how about Spaghetti (or in some circles, sickabetty) and eggs? Spaghetti that is leftover the next day, microwaved to perfection and covers with eggs sunnyside up. Oh baby I'm getting hungry just thinking about it.

From whence came the rain...
How'd you like to look out and see this?

OK, now for a bit of history. Last week and this past week we had insanely warm weather. Until Friday. It got overcast and sprinkled a bit. Today, as we were getting ready to go to church, I looked up at the sky and saw those clouds. Eww!

Yes, it rained savagely today. Last Sunday was a record breaking 90-something degrees. I love California...

Not just the weather
And I don't love this state just for the beautiful sunny days we have either. I also like the people and their need for bigger and better satelite dishes...

... and the kind words they have for you if you take their parking spaces...

Yeah, looks like California is a keeper. Now where did I put those pickles...

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Happy Mother's Day

To all Mothers, throughout the land,
My family and I, we give you a hand.

To stick with the job day by day
Without dying, frying or running away
Allows us to make a day to pause
Consider you, love you and give you applause.
Without you around our lives would stink
With no one to change us or give us a drink
No one to cloth us and show us they care
We are so glad you're here with eyes everywhere.
So today, Mom, we thank you for all that you do
For loving us, teaching us, and yes, spanking us, too.

Hope you enjoyed it. Happy Mother's day.

PS I actually just wrote this. In about five minutes. Kinda neat, huh?

Friday, May 12, 2006

I'm poopy!

I knew I'd catch you with that title! Actually, I figured since I used an exclamation point it would really draw your eye to the title. But seriously...

My youngest daughter (three years old this July) is an insanely smart and able child. I say this because of a regular routine that happens every night at about 9:00 PM. See, at about 8:30 or so my wife and I begin the rounding up of scattered child, rushing them into the bathrooms for teeth brushing and other hygenic procedures, then pushing them into their rooms for pajamification and beddedness preparation. All of our kids are pretty used to this process and willfully limit their defiance to our instruction in an effort to get more time before lights-out. However, our youngest daughter has developed a system of her own by which she single-handedly pushes the parental patience limit beyond the point of reasonable. Some might say that she takes us to a state borderline neuroinstability. Whatever the case, it has been working on my nerve and, without going Terminator on her, I had to devise a means by which to deal with this frustration.

A two year old with an agenda
Every night at about 9:00, just as the noise of bedtime reduces to a quiet hush, a loud two year olf voice rings out through the hallway. "I'm poopy!" Now, I know what you are thinking. You're thinking "Every night? She does this every night?".

Yes. Every night. This kid is the only person that I have ever known that has complete and total control over bowel movements. It's almost like she summons some internal power and decides "I want to get out of bed right now. I should poop myself.". What's even better about all this is that about fifteen minutes later, there is the same voice ringing down the hallway...

She: "I'm wet!"
We: "Of course you are."

After taking care of that amazing feat and getting her back in bed, about ten minutes later...

She: "I'm thirsty!"
We: "Of course you are."

My theory
Although she is only two (going on three) she has the tactic formulating capability of a seasoned army general on the eve of a large scale invasion. She has the logic of an astrophysicist planning complex orbital rotations of planetary bodies. She is a genius at not staying in bed.

First, she poops herself. How? Got me. Then she wets herself. Stumped again. Then comes the thirst. This kinda makes sense to me, seeing as she purged herself of all her solid and liquid waste. And each time, she looks at us as though she is saying "I own you". I can just imagine her thought process...

"If I dirty my diaper, they have to change me... in the living room. And, if I wet my now clean diaper, they have to change me again... in the living room. And, after all that hard work, I tell them I'm thirsty, they will get me something to drink... from the kitchen. It's perfect. I can dodge sleep for another half hour at this rate. And if I am really cute, mom won't even notice that I am cuddling right next to her on the couch. And dad won't even think about me if I am really quiet while I sit between him and mom. Yeah, that's the way to go. Dirty the diaper, wet the diaper, ask for a drink, cuddle with mom, interfere with parental bonding time, stay awake longer than I should and wear out my parents at the same time. It's brilliant!"
So, according to the will of the household two year old, my wife and I tend to her every whim, under her control every step of the way. And all of this takes precious minutes of adult mommy and daddy time, managing her poops, peeps, dry throat and the whatnot.

In fact, by the time all of this calamity is settled, my wife and I are pooped. Figuratively, of course.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

God is in my Tummy

He's got the whole world
in His hands

He's got the whole wide world
in His hands

He's got the whole world
in his Hands

He's got the whole world in his hands

Another tender moment in the Gonzalez house. My youngest daughter was sitting on my wife's lap singing that song. It was so cute, then...

Mom: "Does God have you in His hands?"
Daughter: "No. God is in my tummy."

So that's what that feeling was after dinner...

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Talents, Gifts and a Noisy Child

EDITORS NOTE: In case you were wondering, my family is doing much better after our gut-wrenching episode with whatever bug was in us the night before last. If you don't know what I am talking about, read yesterday's post. If you don't read Spanish, either hire a Mexican to translate or buy a book. Or you could rent one of my children. Of course you would get the deluxe package when doing this, but they're worth it.

So last night was the Homeschool Gifts, Talents and Arts show I wrote about yesterday. I had mentioned before that my two older girls were going to be playing a piano duet and that my oldest was also going to be submitting a posterboard of some of her artwork. My third daughter also posted one of her drawings.

Sidebar: She really wanted to read her book she wrote. 'Detective Anna' is a story straight out of the brain of a five year old. When she finds all the pages I will post it here. You will be amazed that a five year old can write that well (or imagine that well, for that matter). It is a very cute story, well written and easily read by most anyone that piece together phonemes for words that are not proper English. Just wait, you'll see.

Now this is the part where I would normally go into how talented the kids were, how imaginative the artwork was, how cool everything went. But alas, I can't. I was too busy chasing a 10 month old son around the sanctuary hallways trying to allow the other parents to enjoy the show. Call it 'taking one for the team'. Call it doing 'doing my fatherly duty'. Call it what you will, but that kid is very fast and very loud. But the few seconds of the talent show I did see demonstrated how well taught these kids are.

Anyhow, being the proud father that I am I thought I would post a few pictures from the event last night. Enjoy.

Look at my little Picasso's... Oh wait, little Mozart's. Yeah, I are a homeschooling parent.

Well at least I can work my camera enough to get a close-up.

I bet you never thought there were this many homeschoolers in the world did you? Would it shock you even more if I told you that many of these kids are homeschooled within the boundaries of one of the most prestigious school districts in the county? What are we doing?!?!? Oh yeah, parenting and educating our children. The way we are supposed to.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Cinco de Mayo con La Familia Gonzalez

Porque hoy es el Cinco de Mayo, y porque mi familia esta de una linea Mexicana, yo pienso que yo voy a escribir en Espanol. Pues, lo mas en Espanol, pero, en Espanol.

En el dia antes e ayer, fuimos a la casa de mi hermano por los cumpleanos de mi hermana y de mi cunada. Mi cunada es Filipino y toda la comida en su casa es Filipina. Por la fiesta tenian mucha comida (como lo quiero) y comimos, comimos, comimos. Pollo, arroz, lumpia, poncet, no me recuerdo todo que comimos. Despues do la comida, comimos pastel. Y helado. Y pastel, otra vez. Y helado, otra vez.

Que piensan ustedes como que sientamos ayer? Correcto. Nada mas que duelen todos los estomagos en mi casa. Mi hija que tiene cinco anos vomito primer. Hasta que ella, mi hija que tiene ocho anos. Despues, mi hija que tiene dies anos. Y yo? Pues, no vamos a hablar de esta noche...

Llamo a mi hermano y el me dijo que toda de su familia tenian dolores de sus estomagos. Y mi hermana tambien. Pues, pienso que la comida a la fiesta tenia problemas. Pues, a mi me gusta comida Y si puedo comer, me voy a comer.

On another, more english, note
Now that my Spanish has been dusted off and and my brain is complete worn out from all that translation, I thought I'd switch gears. Tonight my kids have a talent show for their homeschool group they are in. They are going to be playing a piano duet (Chopsticks) and presenting some artwork. It's funny, because I am a little nervous. Them? No, they are fine. The flutterby nature of a child still has the better of them and I am in no way go to tweak that. So pray for me, that I can keep my nerves about me. I am such a softy.

Oh yeah, if you happen to go to a birhday party and each like a hungry starving hermit, prepare for the worst. Keep plenty of Tums on hand. And toilet paper.

Until next time, Feliz Cinco de Mayo, y que tienen un bien fin de semana.