The Gonzalez Family Herald

Headlines and commentary from a Northern California family of seven.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

The tastebuds on my teeth

I know it has been quite a while since I wrote. Let's just say things are getting better now that the holidays are over. Our family has settled the uprising launched by the closets and the closets have agreed, for the time being, to maintain their peace enclosed on nicely labeled and neatly placed cubic cells. I would like to thank ambassador wife for providing the necessary efforts to straighten the closets' ill-conceived takeover of the Gonzalez house. Good job sweetie.

On another note, as part of our treaty with the closets we agreed to rearrange our bedroom. As part of our rearrangement arrangement we moved our home network communications and print center to another wall in our bedroom. So I began the process of relocating our network center, and after an exhausting wrestling match involving me, an extension cord, several network cables and a phone line or two, I succesfully moved our stuff.

Now let me tell you a thing or two about reconnecting your network equipment. First, place all your equipment where you want it to go, then plug the items back in to their power source. I speak from experience as I found this out in shocking fashion.

I had already placed and connected our modem and as I was measuring the power cable length I would need for our router, I noticed that my hands were too full of things to hold the power cord for the router. As a man, I pride myself on my ability to use my mouth as a third hand. Forgetting that the extension cord that powers the router was already plugged in I discovered first hand that electricity tastes like rust.

After laughing at me and questioning the mental state in which I make network reconnection decisions, my wife asked how I was. To her credit, she did ensure that I was not dead prior to asking me how I was. I thought for a second, before answering her question, then replied that my teeth still tasted a little like rust and I thought my lip was emitting its own electrical signal. My wife kindly reminded me that my teeth don't have tastebuds and that it might be wise to see a doctor.

Doctor? Yeah right. I don't need no stinking doctor! In fact, as soon as my fingertips stop popping and my hair uncurls, I am blogging about this one!

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

HELP!!! The closets are revolting!

Sweet Lord, Christmas brings a heap of stuff! And heaps of stuff bring amazing amounts of clutter, other stuff and stuffy stuff.

The closet, she 'splode
So my wife decided that now would be an excellent time to start organizing. Organizing what. you ask. Everything.

The living room, the bedrooms, the kids' room, the hallway closets, the bedroom closets, the living room closet. Sakes alive, every closet in the house has regurgitated and left it's guts on the floor.

On the bright side everything is getting labeled. Every storage box has a label on it that tells you clearly what is inside. And all the boxes fit nice and neatly in their places in the closets. So now it is just a matter of finding enough space for all the other stuff that isn't meant to be in the closets to go into. That should be fun.

A game closet and a ton of future eBay sales
So in the process of clearing out the closets we came across a bunch of stuff that is probably going to make it to our eBay auction listings. You should have a look because most of them are jackets and other stuff that tends to get lost in a closet (that is until Mom decides to organize).

Cest la vie
Secretly I am applauding my wife for this undertaking. I certainly would not have taken on this mess of a task without being bribed with heavy doses of Taco Bell or Burger King. Nonetheless, it needs to be done and my wife is just the girl to do it. So if it means that I have to organize in order to be able to call this beautiful woman my wife, so be it.

Until the next time, good night. If you don't hear from me within the next 72 hours, send out a search party.